Peace.

The Evening!

The only way you could find peace is from within at least that’s what they say. It is inside you, well I don’t think its entirely true. For me it is the time of evening, When you see the sun sets and the clouds fade away and there is a faint light it is not orange, not yellow or red it is amalgamated with a hint of blue. This doesn’t stay for long but it is something to look for and the best part is it is different every day, the colors are the same but the hues change some saturate and some fade. Somehow I correlate, I believe it is the exact situation of my mind. I try to relate every color with my emotions, some are saturated and strong and some are faded but there, It is surreal! As if I am matching and segregating my thoughts this really helps and I feel good. there is no time frame I just wait till the last of the lights fade and last of my emotions is sorted and separated. There is a skylark fluttering through these lights just like a restless thought, I can’t calm it down, it doesn’t want to. So, I wait until the stars appear sometimes clearly some times faded but they appear precisely. They are like tiny sparkles of hope from everywhere, some from my emotions, some from people and some are just there wanting to be reached. The skylark is calm now somewhere, there is no flutter.

You are a dream!

It was a pleasant winter evening in a bustling town of Mumbai, While people were enjoying their humdrum life amidst the sounds of rickshaws and horns Shalmali and Rishabh sat in a not so busy but a lovely cafe for tea, It was a cozy cafe with bamboo chairs and bamboo mats on the floor to sit on, aroma of tea an coffee was in the air there was a rack of books in the other corner of the cafe. After ordering peach iced tea for herself and a ginger tea for Rishabh, Shalamali and Rishabh sat at the corner table looking at each other. Rishabh winked at Shalmali, Shalmai blushed and she was more aware of the surroundings now, Rishabh was staring at her and Shalmali broke the silence “So it’s about time ha lover boy!” She chuckled “I had one of the best time of my life,” She said making a hand gesture. Rishabh reached out and pressed her hand gently something was bothering him but he was happy to see the sparkle in Shalmali’s eyes. “Yeah, time to go ha!” he said with a sigh he looked down at his tea stirred it twice and spoke again “How are you? baba!” Shalmali was a little surprised by the question but she said “I had the best time of my life baba! What do you expect!” she broadened her eyes and said, “I am so happy right now”. Rishabh looked at her with curiosity and asked her again “What am I to you?” Shalmali took a long sip from her iced tea and said “You, baba are a dream! a real dream!”.

Shalmali met Rishabh in Bangalore through a dating app when she went for her project work they exchanged numbers and after quite long conversations over phone calls, they decided to meet up. Rishabh was an adventurous and fun loving free spirit from Bangalore who had just started to live his life as it was. In spite of being raised by difficulties and hindrances, Rishabh was extremely compassionate and kind.  Rishabh’s kindness often got him into dilemma and troubles a lot of times. Lately he had been off the track emotionally which motivated him to travel far away from all the conundrums that had messed up his mind. He needed a break!

Shalmali was rather a matured girl with her own childish nature. She was from Mumbai  being raised by a stumbling past she had a different aproach towards life. Filled with her own kind of fire Shalmali was evidently passionate towards life. She had her own view of living which amazed people, at times she was often misunderstood. She had so much love inside her heart but she was afraid no onw would understand. Rishabh’s boyish charm lured her and she kind of grew liking towards her.  After meeting Rishabh she asked him upfront if he was available for a relationship but at that time Rishabh had just got out of a relationship and he needed a little peace from complications. He said no to Shalmali which had hurt her back then because she had really connected with this guy. Shalmali had to move on.

Since the time they have been talking to each other on and off over the phone. Shalmali came back to Mumbai after four months in Bangalore. Whenever they would spare time they would talk to each other about life, current events, their passions and open up about the problems they had. They felt an ease talking to each other untill recently when they started talking frequently and they decided to go on a 3 day trip to Goa. Rishabh was excited about the idea and Shalamali was thrilled It had been more than a year since they had met last time. There were faded memories but they were rekindling it now. Both of them decide to meet at a common place in Goa, Shalmali would come from Mumbai and Rishabh from Bangalore. They had the most intimate time while they were on this trip compliments, flirts and stares they couldn’t get hands of each other. It was all Shalmali had dreamed of when she was sixteen. No one had treated her the way Rishabh did. This trip was more of a bonding for them. They knew more about each other’s roots and they melted into each other. Like two kindled souls revolving around each other and connecting between sparks. It was the last day of the trip and Rishabh was leaving in about two hours when they were having this conversation.

She pressed his hands and continued “You know how dreams are! They are beautiful, They are just everything perfect and all that you ever want. Just like a beautiful memory that cannot be caged” She paused for a while and closed her eyes “Yes, You are a dream! you are perfect you are everything I ever want but I do nont want to bind you, I do not want to put barriers over you”

Rishabh was taken aback it was rather overwhelming for him nobody had ever expressed themselves this beautifuly to him. He stared at Shalamali and asked her with concern “Shalmali! am I hurting you in any…”. “Shhhhhh! don’t speak a word, Let me soak in this feeling a little longer” She cut her abruptly. After a while she broke her silence “Yes, It hurts but what we have here is amazing, It resonates and I am afraid it won’t feel the same if we put complications of expectations and wishes over it. Rishabh! we complain so much about how we don’t have love in our lives but what we had in past few days was more love than I will ever need. See love comes in our live in different forms and this love that we have is the best kind. The love you gave me in past few days is overwhelming you have made me feel so special no one has ever made me feel that and it shows how much you care about me but I know the moment I would force my emotions on you it will change. Believe me Baba! I want you in my life forever and I know you are a free bird. I know that you want things in life which are totally different from what I want so let’s just soak in the warmth that we had for few days. The memories that we created in past few days are priceless. They are intoxicationg and I am still hung over them”

They did not speak for a while Rishabh was about to board the train when Shalmali hugged him and she whispered

“You are a dream,

A real dream!…”

Short Story – (Sharvari – Part:1)

Sharvari

(An unsuitable journey towards LOVE!)

She was staring at herself in the mirror looking at her face, when everything went still. It was as if her entire past was staring back. It reminded her of how she started her journey from a small town in search of love, and how she was back at square one!

Born in lower middle-class family Sharvari was a bright child with one baby brother. Sharvari’s childhood was a phase of her life that had shaped her for all the tragedies of life. Perhaps she had seen too much of what we call life! Being the elder sister of the family she never lived her life, she was constantly pressured by her family to earn more money and support her parents. Deprived of love from her family Sharvari started finding love in books and music. She would spend all her free time reading books and singing songs. As she turned sixteen books and music weren’t enough to fulfill the love she needed. She had grown to be hopelessly romantic and could you blame her, she needed someone to love and acknowledge her.

She did so much to put herself out there so that she could find someone to love she participated in all kinds of activities to kill time. At the age of 17, she found her first date. He was a senior in school and that was her first kiss. She dated many men after that, she was dating constantly from 17 and she was 26 now. She never recalled being single for a while. Her experiences had made her more beautiful than she ever was. She fell in love with many of them. Here is the thing about people who are deprived of love, they cannot differentiate when to be available and when not to. They are always emotionally and physically available for those who show even a small amount of love or affection towards them. They think that it might make people want to stay in their lives and Sharvari was one of them she wanted them to stay. Sharvari never liked goodbyes but until now no one had stayed, Perhaps she was available all the time, for her, the world started revolving around the person she was dating. She thought her full attention might help heart find a permanent tenant.

Prabhat and Shyam were two guys she felt deeply for. Prabhat was the son of her boss in the company she worked as an associate. Prabhat instantly felt attracted towards Sharvari for her meticulous communication skills and her voice. Sharvari did not feel for Prabhat instantly as she was not ready to risk her job, but after prolonged efforts by Prabhat, she thought of giving it a try. After dating for almost a year Prabhat started dating some other girl from the same office behind Sharvari’s back. This was the tipping point for Sharvari as it broke her into pieces and why not, After all, she had given him all of herself. She was ready to leave she changed her job and got transferred to a different city, yeah! she ran away. It was not even a month in the new city when she saw Shyam.

She saw Shyam on her lunch breaks; Shyam was working in the adjoining company as an assistant manager. After a series of long stares and smirks at each other for days Sharvari finally asked him out for a coffee and it was her first time asking a guy out. The coffee dates became dinner dates and dinner dates became sleepover nights. Sharvari was infatuated with Shyam he was everything she needed. After a long time, she had felt butterflies in her stomach. Everything was like a dream come true. It was when she was not able to contact Shyam for more than two days. They have been going out for almost eight months now and she was really worried. Finally, she approached his colleagues when she got to know that Shyam had left for the US for a project. She was still, she felt like a tree without leaves and spring had just started. It was really a hard time for her. It took a while for her to completely accept the fact but she never lost hope. Funny thing hope is sometimes it gives you a reason to live and the other times it kills you. She regained her strength back and started looking for love again, poor Sharvari! Was she? Or she was the strongest of them all?

She was on a second date in a romantic restaurant downtown. His name was Vishal he was a quality engineer and it was perfect he made her laugh that was one of the reason she agreed to go on a second date. Everything was going good so far the talks, the food and the wine until she saw a familiar figure from the corner table coming towards their table and she froze! It was Shyam it had been almost one year and she had not seen him. but to her surprise instead of talking to her he was talking to Vishal and apparently he was his childhood friend that’s what she got to know from their conversations, and just when Vishal was about to introduce her  Shyam grinned at her and all Sharvari was able to pull out was an uncomfortable Hi!. Shyam gave her a familiar smirk. She had to leave for the ladies room. She was trembling from mixed emotions running inside her head as if a hammer just hit her heart. She had to splash water on her face a couple of times to reaffirm what had just happened. She had to make a choice now, to stay? Or, leave? Trains of questions ran endlessly in her head her throat was dry due to all the heavy breathing. She just wanted to run away.

Her entire past stared back at her with a SMIRK!

(To Be continued…)