Sharvari
(An unsuitable journey towards LOVE!)
Within the rumble of thoughts and stampede of emotions Sharvari realised she was in the ladies room for too long and that she had to be quick in deciding what to do. She could either tolerate smirks and glances from Shyam like darts poking at an apple and completely get crumbled, or she could stay intact and leave without giving an explanation like she did when things went wrong with Prabhat and mull over it for days locked in her room.But this time she decided to stay and face the smirks and crumble. She was sure this time and she did not want to feel bad about herself anymore like she did earlier by completely de-motivating herself and having her own pity party.
Sharvari had now become a private person, She was worried too much about what people would say and react. So rather facing them she went away in her own head space in her own little world where she can do what she wants and nobody would judge her but herself. She was not always like this. Earlier Sharvari always had a sunny smile on her face attracting people around her. She was extremely empathetic towards people she met. yes she was very social and had many friends but now Sharvari had few friends and she feared they would leave her if she started telling her everything. People around her never understood her choices but her ethereal empathy was now limited. Her head space was the only space her demons came out freely. After all who would understand a girl who had dated more boys than every other girl, At least that was what she thought about herself.
She came out of the ladies room and sat opposite to Vishal who was about to finish his glass of wine waiting for her. Sharvari looked around but Shyam was nowhere to be seen. This pinched her heart a little and also gave her relief at the same time. After a lovely time and an interesting conversation over desert where she was entirely thinking about Shyam, Sharvari was part of the conversation but really she was finding answers to jumble of questions. After a while Vishal booked a cab and the were standing outside the hotel on the pavement waiting for the cab to arrive. The cab arrived after ten minutes after Vishal was talking about how he ended up in having pet dog and how much he loved it. They sat in the cab, the rumble of thoughts had slowed down and eventually muffled by the conversations that they were having. Just when she was about to get out of the cab Vishal held her hand, She was startled by this gesture of Vishal. Vishal looked into her eyes and said “I know!”.
Sharvari was completely abashed by Vishal’s words. She kept staring at Vishal blankly as if someone had just punched her heart. Vishal kept staring back at her but silence was all she could keep up. She got out of the cab and waved Vishal goodbye she was sure she was not going to see him again. Once again the waves of past had ruined her good date with Vishal. She ran upstairs and locked herself in the room. the was a muffled cry inside her but couldn’t come out. Her heart was crying but her eyes were dry.
All Sharvari was able to think about were Vishal’s words ‘I know!’ what does he know?, Did Shyam tell him everything?, what does he know?, Does he think that I am emotional and needy?, Is he judging me?, A series of questions popped in her head. What was Shyam doing here?, Was he back? or Just visiting ?, Why didn’t he call even after coming back?. After a year she had met this amazing guy Vishal working in the same company. and he was the guy who made her feel better in all ways and respected her individuality. Just because he was Shyam’s Friend she had to let him go! It was either the wine or the waves of emotions that lulled her to sleep.
When She woke up the next day she had a couple of messages from Vishal wishing her good morning, but she was to adamant to reply. Vishal kept calling her and messaging her for an entire week but she was not ready to face! but whom Vishal or her past? She just wanted to stay away for a while. Vishal wanted to see her one last time but Sharvari was firm. In her head space she was still battling with questions and emotions.
One busy afternoon just before Lunch she got a call from front desk asking her to come down as someone was here to see her. Who could that be?, was it her mom but she was sure she was not in town and she had spoken to her and her dad in the morning itself. None of he relatives stayed here in the city the who could it be? She went to the front desk hurriedly and found out a familiar figure waiting for her, Yes it was Vishal! She did not want to talk to him but it was her office she had to take this outside. She took Vishal outside her office on the pavement. Looking into Sharvari’s eyes Vishal spoke “You don’t owe anyone an explanation, you are who you are and I like you for who you are” and lastly he said “Sharvari I am here to stay!” Sharvari melted in Vishal’s arms it was the home she was waiting for.
The Cosmos within me! 